People who think Depression is a choice, take a second to think. How would it feel to wake up and not have the emotional strength to face people. To think that time is just passing by with no real reason. To feel so alone even when you are sitting in a room full of people. To have to put on a face and hide your feelings because no one would care anyway. To lose friends because you can't find the strength to go out and you can't physically be 'happy'. To cry yourself to sleep, hoping you wouldn't wake up then when you do you are exhausted from the night before, and it all starts again. You try to hide your feelings hoping no one would notice and if you slip up all you get called is attention seeking and 'emo'. Now tell me why someone would choose that? Depression is an illness, not a choice.
63317.) There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about being depressed. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember the moments when I felt like giving up because there was nothing there for me anymore. I remember how it feels every single minute of every single day. And I feel so lucky that I'm okay again now. Believe me when I say that it gets better and you ARE beautiful. xoxo
I want to sit on the bathroom floor with a fistful of razors, slashing open my arm, piece by piece. I want to watch the blood pump out and not give a care about the mess. I want that light-headed, nauseated feeling I get when I lose a lot of blood. I want the aches and pains of the wounds to accompany in the days after. I deserve this.
559) The razor blades call me, they scream my name over and over again. They beckon me to come, use them, just one more time. To let the blood flow, to paint a picture on my skin that will last forever. They scream at me to let the warm blood cover them. I bite my lip and cling onto something, hoping, wishing to get away from the addiction that took over my life.
how do i tell my older sister that i have been sexually abused :|
this is one of the hardest things for me to talk about. i think you just need to sit her down for a heart to heart and tell her. i mean i know its going to be a hard thing to talk about but i think you will feel a lot better after you tell someone. keeping something like that bottled up is no good. i did it for years and it just ate me alive. be strong and she will of course be there for you. she loves you and i love you. it’ll be hard but it will be okay. you are a very very strong person. if you want to come off anon we can talk more about it but if not good luck. it’ll be okay i promise. i love you very much. no one deserves that.
How can you possibly post all of this deeply personal shit about yourself? If you're lonely you contemplating self hard and suicide you need to seek out professional help, not sympathy through the digital world. Focus on you and be an inspiration to others, not another reminder of sorrow and sadness. This might seem harsh but one day (hopefully) you'll understand.
i have had professional help. it’s just not for me, i mean it’s not for everyone. i have never asked for sympathy through the “digital world” i post what i post because its my blog and i know people can relate and i know that they can come to me if they need help. i love helping other people and being able to relate to people. it makes me feel less alone and hopefully it makes them feel less alone. i have good days and bad days just like everyone else. i just deal with things probably differently than you do. i don’t know you and its nice that it seems like you care but i can take care of myself and i’m here mostly for other people and to get my thoughts of my past and present off my chest.